Saturday, May 16, 2009

Book: The Power of One by Bryce Courtenay

Quote:

In this world are very few things made from logic alone. It is illogical for a an to be too logical. Some things we must just let stand. The mystery is more important than any possible explanation. The searcher after truth must search with humanity. Ruthless logic is the sign of a limited mind. The truth can only add to the sum of what you know, while a harmless mystery left unexplored often adds to the meaning of life. When a truth is not so important, it is better left as a mystery. p.263

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Movie/Book: Into the Wild

5/24/08
昨晚看了电影 Into the Wild,才知道这个人,这家人的事。一边看,一边想,我们能从这个故事学到什么。这个孩子是不是教育失败?

首先,他完全没有按照父母的意愿生活,逃离家庭,不承认父母,心中没有一点对父母的感激。按草叶的准则,他是一个失败的人生。

可是,他独立自主,自力更生,虽身无分文,却过了两年快乐的流浪生活。用浮生和风子的准则,他快乐,喜欢自己选择的生活,是一个成功的人生。

他虽然没有给社会创造很多财富,却给遇到的人带来快乐。他给父母家人带来的是痛苦和悔恨,他的故事给我们外人带来思考和启发。从社会的角度来看,他的人生是有价值的。

最后,他不能按照他的意愿生存下去。他临死前意识到,happiness only real when shared,死之前想念家人,说明他自己选择的道路是不成功的,而且他也意识到了。那么,人生中短暂的快乐,不能决定人生的成功,可是,要多久的快乐才能算成功?十年二十年三十年?后半生?是不是在死的时候,才能对整个人生的成败下定论?再有,谁来下定论?作父母的,是要把子女培养成父母认为是成功的,还是子女自己认为是成功的,或是社会认为是成功的,才算成功?

这个问题越讨论越艰难。

另外,按七月所说,给孩子空间,如果孩子不需要父母,没有信号,父母就不要去打扰他,让孩子自然成长?可是,谁决定孩子需不需要父母?也许孩子的超级独立,是一种对父母需要的表现?电影中的男孩,如果父母能读到他给的信号,能创造一个交流的渠道,是否可以避免悲剧?

当然,电影 version中,最后这个男孩能得到大智慧,父母因为挫折而改变了自己的人生态度,在高一层次上,是否算是一种成功?不论道路多么艰辛曲折,在最后能够醒悟,能够与世界和解,能够认命,make peace with the world,一生也算可以算是完满的。

想到最后,还是觉得,人生道路有各种各样的,没有什么成功和失败,只有不同。每个人只能为了自己最终的内心安详而生活,只能为自己的幸福负责。自己喜欢怎么做,就怎么做吧。最终的心态是最重要的。子女的人生是他们的, 他们也要自己找到健康的心态。做父母的,给子女的影响最大,所以首先要调整好自己的心态,以身作则,能帮就多帮一些。心要大,要开。智慧是快乐成功的唯一要素。

我每次想问题,想到最后,得到的都是一样的结论。怎么回事?:)


11/6/08
昨天我看了这本书。我觉得书比电影好。电影只是讲 Chris McCandless 的 misadventure,但书里写了不少其他人对 Alaska wilderness 的向往和追求,尤其作者年轻时有过类似的 Alaska 冒险的经历,读起来觉得很真切。

我也有 Alaska 情结。在美国读大学的时候,同学跟我说,要想赚钱,就趁暑假去 Alaska 打鱼,男生打鱼,女生在 cannery 工作,一个夏天可以挣五六千块钱呢。因为夏天日子长,每天要工作 10-12 个小时,但剩下时间都是自由的。我就特别向往,向往那种别样的生活。可惜大学我只过了一个暑假,上了好多课,没机会去。研究生的时候,我约了女友一起开车去 Alaska 玩一个月。临走那天她才说不想去了。后来我就更向往了,特别想开车去逛 3 个月。我不想坐 cruise,也许要等孩子长大一些,才能圆了我的阿拉斯加梦,但肯定跟年轻时的那种去冒险的感觉又不一样了。

因为是真事,是报告文学,所以才更令人感慨,感慨生命在青春时的脆弱。

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Book: The Brethren by John Grisham

前两天刚读了 The Brethren by John Grisham,小说的一个重要的 subplot 是讲美国总统选举的。书里说,谁的钱多,谁就能赢。读后,我对大选的激情更加淡薄。归根结底还是钱的问题。

CIA director wants to increase military budget, so he picks an unknown Arizona congressman to be a presidential candidate after NH primary, promises to provide unlimited campaign funding. He "creates" terrorist crisis to scare the people, and soon everyone turns to the new candidate. The money comes from defense companies, including "private" companies that nobody knows. The money is used for advertisement, for buying off politicians (to pay off their campaign debts), and such. Throughout the book, the CIA director keeps saying that the one who has more campaign money always wins. The writer John Grisham has worked in a presidential campaign before, so I assume he knows some inside stories.

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Tuesday, October 21, 2008

TTC: 20th Century American Fiction

20th-Century American Fiction
(32 lectures, 30 minutes/lecture)
by Arnold Weinstein

Hemingway. Fitzgerald. Faulkner. No first names are needed.
These giants of literature are immediately recognizable to anyone who loves to read fiction and even to many who don’t.

Now, thanks to this course from Brown University’s Professor Arnold Weinstein, you can develop fresh insight into these and eight other great American authors of the 20th century. Professor Weinstein sheds light not only on the sheer magnificence of these writers’ literary achievements but explores their uniquely American character as well. Despite their remarkable variety, each represents an outlook and a body of work that could only have emerged in the United States.

Freedom and Speech

The aim of this course is to analyze and appreciate some of the major works of fiction produced in this country over the past century, using as a focal point the idea of "freedom of speech." The focus on freedom of speech is appropriate for many reasons, particularly:
These texts often invoke the fundamental political freedoms guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution, and many of them take the liberty of articulating the painful ideological conflicts that have punctuated our modern history: war, racism, poverty, drugs, sexism, and the like.
"Freedom of speech" also spells out the key thesis to be presented in these readings: Language itself turns out to be not only "free" but a precious means of becoming free, of experiencing life beyond the constraints of the ordinary workaday world.
The overriding theme in American literature, as in American life, is that of freedom itself, whether expressed in a laissez-faire economy, in upward mobility, or simply in our belief that we can make ourselves and our lives into something beyond the origins and influences of our births, a theme sometimes called the American dream. No other society has ever professed such beliefs, and it is not surprising that our literature has much to tell us about the viability of these notions.
Our Ongoing War for Independence

Why would literature be a privileged record for this special American story about freedom? The answer: American fiction is something of a battleground in the "war of independence" that human beings—white or black or red or yellow, male or female—wage every day of their lives.

Our war consists of achieving a self, making or maintaining an identity, making our particular mark in the world we inhabit. This is a battle because the 20th century American scene is not particularly hospitable to self-making: great forces coerce our lives, forces that are at once economic, biological, political, racial, and ideological.

We are dogged by not only death and taxes but by the influence of family, of business, of society, of all those potent vectors that constitute the real map and landscape of our lives. This vexed and conflicted terrain does not resemble the smooth résumés that are our shorthand for what we have done, but it does correspond to our experiential awareness of what we go through, how we have changed from childhood to adulthood, what our work and friendships and marriages have been and what they have meant to us. Literature enables us to recover this territory—our territory. The texts presented in this course constitute an enlarged repertory of human resources, of the battle for freedom.

The Heroic Self in a Humbling Land

We begin by looking at the great texts and movements of the 19th century, especially our belief in heroic selfhood, and we begin to see and chart the kinds of forces that make up the moving stage we occupy.

Anderson’s Winesburg, Ohio is among the most poignant descriptions of life at the beginning of the century, but the charm of this small-town narrative acquires a deeper hue when we see the amount of repression and inner violence that Anderson chronicles.

Hemingway’s In Our Time and Fitzgerald’s Tender is the Night are both, in their own ways, about American loss of innocence; about how the Great War and the brutality of modern life permanently altered our belief systems. This theme is presented as physical trauma in Hemingway and as madness and decay in Fitzgerald.

Faulkner’s Light in August depicts the ravages of racism in the American South, but it seeks, magnificently, to pair its overt story of carnage and neurosis with another, more elusive fable of love, kinship, and redemption.

We turn to Hurston’s Their Eyes Were Watching God for the first—and perhaps the best—account of growing up black and female in America, a story that is expressed in a kind of language and diction that moves breathlessly from the vernacular to the legendary.

Flannery O’Connor’s stories bring a different agenda to our course: the challenge of perceiving the contours of God, spirit, and grace in a seemingly materialist Southern landscape peopled with the lowest profile folks in American literature.

Burroughs’ Naked Lunch, once censored and then seen as merely a raunchy drug epic, will be studied as a dazzling and disturbing account of the body in culture, a body that is horribly open and defenseless against the takeovers that beset it.

War returns to our course in Vonnegut’s Slaughterhouse-Five, at once poignant and wacky, speaking to us of mass destruction and of extraterrestrials in the same voice, a voice that is hard to forget.

The course will close with a series of lectures on three of the most significant contemporary writers—writers whose works may not yet be familiar to you.

In his sprawling and audacious Public Burning, Robert Coover uses that most popular American code, entertainment, to present a manic account of the Rosenberg execution and the antics of one Richard Nixon.

Toni Morrison’s fascinating Sula is an experimental novel in which Morrison fashions a group of characters whose lives and values make rubble out of the conventions of humanistic culture, whether black or white.

Finally, Don DeLillo’s appealing, absurdist comedy of modern life, White Noise, depicts our encounter with the technological madhouse in which we live but which we have not quite gotten around to seeing.

Lifelines

These American fictions, seen together, tell a composite story about coping, about fashioning both a story and a life. The range of experiences and subcultures to be found here will dwarf the experience of any single reader, and that is how it should be. Much is dark in these stories, but the honesty and integrity of these writers adds pith and richness to our own lives and makes us realize that reading is as much a lifeline as it is entertainment or education.

Course Lecture Titles

1. American Fiction and the Individualist Creed
2. The American Self—Ghost in Disguise
3. What Produces "Nobody"?
4. Sherwood Anderson's Winesburg, Ohio—Writing as the Talking Cure
5. Winesburg—A New American Prose-Poetry
6. Hemingway—Journalist, Writer, Legend
7. Hemingway as Trauma Artist
8. Hemingway's Cunning Art
9. F. Scott Fitzgerald—Tender Is the Night—Fitzgerald's Second Act
10. Fitzgerald's Psychiatric Tale
11. Dick's Dying Fall—An American Story
12. Light in August—Midpoint of the Faulkner Career
13. Light in August—Determinism vs. Freedom
14. Light in August—Novel as Poem, or, Beyond Holocaust
15. Zora Neale Hurston's Their Eyes Were Watching God—Canon Explosion
16. Their Eyes Were Watching God—From Romance to Myth
17. Flannery O'Connor—Realist of Distances
18. O'Connor—Taking the Measure of the Region
19. Williams Burroughs—Bad Boy of American Literature
20. Naked Lunch—The Body in Culture
21. Naked Lunch—Power and Exchange in the Viral World
22. Kurt Vonnegut's Slaughterhouse-Five—Apocalypse Now
23. Vonnegut's World—Tralfamadore or Trauma?
24. Robert Coover—Postmodern Fabulator
25. The Public Burning—Execution at Times Square
26. Robert Coover—Fiction as Fission
27. Toni Morrison's Sula—From Trauma to Freedom
28. Sula—New Black Woman
29. Don DeLillo—Decoder of American Frequencies
30. White Noise—Representing the Environment
31. DeLillo and American Dread
32. Conclusion—Nobody's Home

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Monday, September 29, 2008

Book: Sister Carrie

I'm so happy to be reading Sister Carrie instead of the Bone People. I read it with great intent, enjoying each word in each sentence. It sounds like music to me.

I read the first two chapters last year when I was nursing. I found it very difficult, and I could not get into the book. I was not in the mood to enjoy it. I felt sad, and I didn't know if I would ever enjoy a great book again. I am glad this book has given me another chance.

There are several books in the past that I could not get into. I will have to give them a second chance. Yes, One Hundred Years of Solitude needs 3 or 4 chances.

Friday, September 26, 2008

book: The Bone People by Keri Hulme

I can't say I enjoyed the Bone People by Keri Hulme. While I was reading it the last two weeks, I was impatient with the book, and speed-read many pages. For one thing, I am not used to the language style. It is said to "follow the rhythms and accents of the Maori idiom". It is very difficult for me to follow. Also Hulme changes her narrative back and forth from third person to first person, and it is confusing, especially if I am speed reading. Most of the passages about Kerewin Holmes, which is over half of the book, read like a private diary. Since Kerewin Holmes sounds like Keri Hulme, and they have similar backgrounds (part Maori, part European, painter, drinker, asexual, etc.), I feel I am reading a badly written autobiography. I do not care about the protagonist, because she is self-absorbing and irritating. I care about Joe, but the book tells too little about him. I care about Simon, and in the book there is a promise of a mystery, but it is never resolved. There is no story in the book, only character studies, of only one character, which is the author, who is often drunk, depressed, or dreaming. I have learned something about the Maori people, but it is only through the eyes of Keri Hulme, whom I have a most difficult time to relate. I do not trust her at all.

The only part I can read normally is the part about Joe's wandering, and about Simon's recovering. Hulme uses normal English in those chapters, and I could understand. Then she switches back to Kerewin, and I am lost again. Unlike the other two characters, I don't understand how and why she is healed. In the end, I don't know what has happened. I am confused from beginning to end.

I got this book because it has won several book award, including the 1985 Booker Prize, an award for contemporary fiction writers from the British Commonwealth and Ireland. Past award winners include these two that I have read:

1989 - Kazuo Ishiguro - United Kingdom/Japan - The Remains of the Day - (I love it)
2002 - Yann Martel - Canada - Life of Pi - (I don't like)

Also Alice Walker recommends this book. Well, I don't.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Book: All the King's Men by Robert Penn Warren

I really enjoyed this 661-pages long political novel. It started very slowly, with long descriptions of landscapes, people in the background, characters in the foreground, and so on. The story was thin and deeply embedded in the descriptions. After a couple of chapters, I gradually see the history of each character, and the relationships among them. I was drawn into the complicated web of people with past, present, and future. Characters are well-developed. The plots are neat and tight. There is a satisfactory closure at the end.

There are two movies made for this book. I have seen the earlier one but I didn't understand it at the time of viewing. I've read that the character Willie Stark (Boss) is based on a real governor (Huey Long of Louisiana). I've always wondered where the character Jack Burden come from. There were many rich memories from the past. I kept thinking that the author must have had most of the experiences he gave to Jack Burden. This novel also reminds me of The Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner.

It is a successful novel, a literary classic.

A few quotes from the book:

Yeah, I heard the speech. But they don't give a damn about that. Hell, make 'em cry, make 'em laugh, make 'em think you're their weak erring pal, or make 'em think you're Gold-Almighty. Or make 'me mad. Even mad at you. Just stir 'em up, it doesn't matter how or why, and they'll love yo and come back for more. Pinch 'em in the soft place. They aren't alive, most of 'em, and haven't been alive in twenty years. Hell, their wives have lost their teeth and their shape, and likker won't set on their stomachs, and they don't believe in God, so it's up to you to give 'em something to stir 'em up and make 'em feel alive again. Just for half an hour. That's what they come for. Tell 'em anything. But for Sweet Jesus' sake don't try to improve their minds. (p.108)

One feels incredulity at the first breaking of a habit, but horror at the violation of a principle. Therefore what virtue and honor I had known in the past had been an accident of habit and not the fruit of will. Or can virtue be the fruit of human will? The thought is pride. p.254

We wrote every day, but the letters began to seem like checks drawn on the summer's capital. There had been a lot in the bank, but it is never good business practice to live on your capital, and I had the feeling, somehow, of living on the capital and watching something dwindle. p.449 (long-distance relationship)

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Thursday, July 24, 2008

Book: Seabiscuit

I got Laura Hillenbrand's Seabiscuit from the library for $0.50, and since it had top rating at amazon.com, I began reading it. When the movie came out a few years ago, I didn't see it in the theater. Everyone told me that it was a "guy's movie". I only saw part of it on a train (from San Francisco to Los Angeles), and thought it was all fictional.

But it is all real in history. Charles Howard. Tom Smith. Red Pollard. George Woolf. Seabiscuit.

This book is not about a racehorse. It is about a lost era, about those "dear, dead days".

After reading the book, I become fascinated with horse race, and I want to go to racecourses and see real horse racing. I have been to Churchill Downs, Santa Anita, and the Detroit Race Course, but I didn't know anything about horse race before, and I missed the real excitement. I have checked to see the racecourses near us. The Hollywood Park is in our area, and it was where Seabiscuit won the inaugural Hollywood Gold Cup in 1938. Santa Anita is like a home to Seabiscuit, and there is a statue of the horse and the jockey Iceman Woolf. So many stories of Seabiscuit happened there. I really want to go and see it again. When I told people that I wanted to see horse racing, they

Here's a list of all California horse racing venues from Wikipedia (there are more from other sites):

Santa Anita Park racecourse
Bay Meadows, San Mateo, California
Golden Gate Fields, Albany, California
Del Mar Racetrack, Del Mar, California
Fairplex, Pomona, California
Hollywood Park Racetrack, Inglewood, California
Los Alamitos, Los Alamitos, California
Santa Anita Park, Arcadia, California

Hillenbrand did a great job digging up lost history, organizing the materials, and telling the life of Seabiscuit and those of everyone around him. Her language is colorful and vivid, and sometimes very sensational. For example:

His (Johnny Pollard) emotions were liquid; his anger was a wild rage, his pleasure jubilation, his humor biting, his sorrow and empathy a bottomless abyss. (p.51)

Below is an interesting "observation" of the depression era:

In the winter of 1937, America was in the seventh year of the most catastrophic decade in its history. The economy had come crashing down, and millions upon millions of people had been torn loose from their jobs, their savings, their homes. A nation that drew its audacity from the quintessentially American belief that success is open to anyone willing to work for it was disillusioned by seemingly intractable poverty. The most brash of peoples was seized by despair, fatalism, and fear. The sweeping devastation was giving rise to powerful new social forces. The first was a burgeoning industry of escapism. America was desperate to lose itself in anything that offered affirmation. The nation's corner theaters hosted 85 million people a week for 25-cent viewings of an endless array of cheery musicals and screwball comedies. On the radio, the idealized world of One Man's Family and the just and reassuring tales of The Lone Ranger were runaway hits. Downtrodden Americans gravitated strongly toward the Horatio Alger protagonist, the lowly bred Everyman who rises from anonymity and hopelessness. They looked for him in spectator sports, which were enjoying explosive growth. With the relegalization of wagering, no sport was growing faster than Thoroughbred racing.

Note the part about "cheery musicals and screwball comedies". See my movie review for the 1930s.

I've just signed up for a membership at The Daily Racing Form. I don't know what I am going to do with it....

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关于 Bach/Brahms Chaconne 3

我第一次正式听巴赫的恰空,是两年前,在一个教会举行的午间音乐会上。演奏者是 Timothy Fain,一个很帅的年轻小提琴家。为了写音乐会报告,我在网上查了不少关于恰空的资料,整理了一番,作为我对巴赫恰空最初的理性认识。这是我写的报告中关于恰空的(英文):

The main piece is Bach Partita No.2 in D minor for solo violin (BWV 1004). It was written in the period 1717-1723, dedicated to the memory of his first wife. The partita is composed of five parts, combining different folk traditions—Allemande (German), Courrant (French), Saraband (Spanish or Oriental), Gigue (French), and Chaconne (Spanish or Moorish). A common theme is shared among the first four parts. The 15-minute long Chaconne runs over the time of all other four parts together, overshadowing the remainder of the partita. It is considered a pinnacle in the solo violin repertoire, covering almost every aspect of violin playing known during Bach’s time, and it is among the most difficult pieces to play on any instrument. Different transcriptions of the piece were made by Busoni (piano), Brahms (piano left hand), Segovia (guitar), and Stokowski (orchestra), among others. It also represents the zenith of polyphonic writing for a non-keyboard instrument. Having listened to Bach’s unaccompanied cello suites many times, I had no doubt that Bach’s solo violin would be magnificent.

Fain was well prepared to tackle all the technical difficulties. At first his whole body moved a lot with the emotion of the piece, which was distracting to me because he was very tall. Half way through the piece, he became more absorbed in the music and his movement was reduced. In Chaconne, there were a lot of technical passages. He played with concentration and passion. It was especially exciting to watch him play the passage of 32nd-note arpeggio over all four strings. However, musically I got lost after a while. A few times I thought the music had reached the climax and was coming to an end, but Bach kept going and Fain kept going. After several false climaxes, I lost my concentration to listen. I did not realize the section was in the form of theme and variations. I think as a performer, one should pay good attention to the structure of the music, and be a guide to the audience and so they could understand where the music is going, help the audience hear how the composer wants the music to flow. Nonetheless, overall I greatly enjoyed this performance of Bach’s Violin Partita, for both Bach and Fain were full of surprises and excitement.

After the concert, I looked up the score of Chaconne (or Ciaccona) and read some analyses. It was actually composed of 64 “stunning” variation upon the “stark, open-ended” four measure theme in the beginning. The theme and its chord progression is on D, C#, Bb and A. The piece starts and ends in a D minor with a D major central section starting and ending in arpeggio. I listened to three recordings of this piece (by Arthur Grumiaux, Hilary Hahn, and Nathan Milstein) with the score. Full of triple, quadruple stops and arpeggio over four strings, it was truly a stunning piece, both technically and musically.

当时我听演奏的时候,听到一半我就跑神了。平时我听音乐都是这样的,除非手里有谱子,我是不会专心的把一个曲子从头听到尾的,即使是我自己弹奏的曲子,弹到一半我脑子就不知跑到那里去了,连我从未弹奏过的新曲子也如此。但是巴赫的恰空,时不时的带来新鲜的音乐,或是委婉,或是激昂,或是遥远,或是悲壮,总是召唤我回到音乐旁边。我发现我并不了解这首恰空的结构,不懂其写作格式和技巧,每个大段都有高潮,三次下来,我丢了方向。我还抱怨演奏者不能给我适当的指示。现在想来也是很好笑的。

演奏中,我印象最深的是前面 D minor 结束前的的那一大段32分音符的扒音,在小提琴的四根弦上,快速的来回穿梭。手指飞奔。我看着都紧张,手里捏着一把汗。这一段持续的时间很久,有8个变奏,大概两分钟。非常精彩。

我看钢琴谱的这一段,第二个变奏标的是 tranquillo,平静,第三个是 p e molto leggiero,轻及更加轻盈,好像是在孕育着后来的风暴。到后来才慢慢渐强起来。这些跨越度大、快速的32分音符,我练了很久,才能勉强把音都弹出、弹对,但轻盈这种力度却难以做到。紧接下来的是自由的、尽兴的感叹,感叹终于雨过天晴,D大调就要来到了。这一段成为我最喜欢练习的,因为不仅可以反复练手指、练技巧,体会和声微妙的变化,而且那种一气呵成的感觉真是太好了。

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

关于 Bach/Brahms Chaconne 2

我看资料说,Chaconne 是一种 baroque 以前的变奏曲式,主题是 harmonic progression,和我们平时听惯的变奏曲以旋律为主题是不同的。我最先接触 Bach Chaconne 的时候,以为主题就是开始八个小节的那一大组和弦(在小提琴上是 broken chords)。这八小节又分成两短句,一问一答,象是在宣言。第二组的八小节,和弦变奏成 French Overture 那种 dotted rhythm,可以用 majestic 来形容。第三组的八小节,保持了 dotted 节奏,但音量突然减弱,好像是前面的回音。再下的四小节是简单的八分音符,虽然只是单音,但充满了紧张的力度,因为钢琴演奏上没有 vibrato,音弹下去就不能再变了,这一段反而特别难弹。后四小节变成16分音符,密度增加,仍要保持从容。

我就这样把 chaconne 分成了32段,每段8小节。

可是,中间有一些段落,并不是以八小节为单位的一问一答。有的是四小节一组,有的是12小节一组,有的类似的八小节是分在不同的单位中。比如在曲子的中间,第17单位的下半,chaconne 从 D小调变成了 D大调。从27段起,又回到 D小调。这种不工整的结构,又应该怎样解释?

很久以后,我看到一篇恰空的曲式分析,才恍然大悟。我一直把主题看错了。

主题就是四个音,D-C(#)-Bb-A。因为是小调,根据旋律要求,C 有时是 C#。每一小节一个音,主题的长度是四小节,这样整个曲子就是64个变奏。有的时候,巴赫把两句并在一起,成一问一答的形式,有时候又是单句,增加了一层变化。

关于巴赫写 chaconne,还有一段凄惨的故事。1720年,巴赫远道回来,到了家,才知道自己的发妻已经去世,丢下七个孩子。他悲愤之中,写了以 chaconne 为主的小提琴独奏主曲,来纪念妻子。也许因此,这首恰空才那么沉重,四分之三都是 D小调。

中间 D大调开始的时候,那几个低沉的音,好像远远传来的长号,带来另一个世界的亲人的消息。然后的大调,给人一点温暖,一点希望,阳光也在一点点渗进来,直到热血沸腾。然而。。。

我最喜欢的是后来转成 D 小调的那几个小节(m.208)。老师用的词是 lament。我曾经有一个月疯狂的爱上 lament 这个词,每天写信写文字,都必定要用这个词来造句。以至我后来一见到这个词,就感到心之憔悴,哀伤叹息不能自已。我觉得 lament 用在这一句音乐上,是再恰当不过了。每当音乐弹到这里,我就忽然心灰意冷。我把这几个小节反复弹了很多遍,沉浸在这泪流尽以后、从肺腑中唱出的哀歌中。